We’re a team, my brother and I, in the same way that say… those chimpanzees and boffins in the laxative/cosmetics development and testing division of Pfizer are a team. Well this is what Al tells me anyway. In that way I guess we are strong and erm… hairy…throwing…? No, no that’s probably not the best analogy to use.
It was this unbreakable bond and joint, unfailing dedication to working together that led to him head off on a jolly for a week in Ibiza whilst I “manned the fort”. To be fair to my sibling, it was a case of Murphy’s Law hitting the Durbar in a rather overzealous fashion. Every possible staff member dropped ill or was on holiday during my time in the proverbial canoe going up the creek. The managerial task force front was pretty skeleton at best and so I had to man up and take one for the Imperial team.
You see with such a long opening period (6.30am till Midnight) there needs to be two shifts otherwise there would be a horrendous amount of hours for one person to take on. Some folk are troopers and they can just run without much downtime but inevitably you will burn out and the cheery upbeat manner will start to slip and mistakes are then made. You don’t want the place you love working at turning in to a Gulag. And though it is possible to work every hour of the day, I think I’m getting older and starting to feel the pinch of my running around like an A.D.D. child behaviour. A balance is needed for staff hours.
That being said, I, luckily, am a superbly strong willed individual with a very sound mind, I knew for a fact I could easily tough it out and not succumb to cabin fever….
That being said, by the second day I had fashioned a friend out of a football and called it Wilson. I then promoted him to head barista. He was curiously more proactive than some of his predecessors and surprisingly good with customers too. Though inevitably I had to let him go over fundamental, professional differences.
My reprieve came at just at the right time. Over 90 hours in, mistakes were being made, I was nodding off on the weights benches at the gym after work and to top it all I had a sneaking suspicion that Wilson had taken the spare set of office keys with him. Alastair arrived like a knight in overly tanned armour, looking more tired than when he had left.
This has left me time to sleep for a few days and do nothing more than enjoy some down time slumped in the deepest recesses of the sofa in front of the TV watching the most obscure channel I could find, broadcasting the most mindless shows I could find something to do Essex, that Chelsea show, “When Popes’ go wild 4” etc Bliss…
The Imperial Durbar 
Man up
Am an old man now Mr Bingley